mourning

Our househelp's grandfather died yesterday. And she had been crying the whole night. It made me wonder what mourning is all about. Why do people cry? Why the sorrow? Why the grief?

This morning, I asked her why she cries. She told me, "Wala nay mulaban nko..."
(I won't have someone to defend me). Sad noh? Sad because it reflects the truth that mourning is for the living and not for the dead. We mourn for the things that we can no longer receive from the deceased like support, friendship, gifts, money, protection and affection. It's a sorrow we inflict upon ourselves because we depend on others for happiness or contentment. Is this how the world mourns? I don't know. Atleast in my world, this is true.

I think to mourn for the dead is the last act of love we can give our deceased loved one. It transcends self. Instead of grieving for our lives without the deceased, we could have grieved over the wasted life the deceased had, or the years of life he still could have experienced, or the joy and love we still could have given and he could have cherished to his death. This is love in its truest sense.

Next time you're in a burol (interment), go figure it out. Listen to the wails of grieving mothers, fathers, siblings, relatives and friends. And see who really mourns for the dead.

No, I haven't experienced such sad emotion (and not too soon please). I can't promise I will not cry and mourn for my pitiful self. But this I know of living and loving.


P.S.
The use of he does not refer to any male within my family and friends *knocks on wood*. He refers to Jen's lolo who died yesterday. May God take him in His care.